AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Exactly what I said when hubby and I were driving merrily along heading to visit our little peanut when the unthinkable happened!!! We ran out of windshield wiper fluid!!! So picture this....

It's a day after a huge snow storm, the roads are still pretty yucky..the sun is glaring(off the snow mind you)and we run out of washer fluid...on the highway, in the middle of Boston traffic and us Bostonians aren't nicknamed "Mass*oles for nothing..so anyhow, of course being the numb nutted Breuders we are..what did we do? We thought that if maybe we try the fluid lever one more time we might just get a tad more out to clean the windshield...Well, we just made a mess. The windshield was now a smoky opaque..and if any of you have ever driven with me as a passenger.. you would know that I was screaming my head off thinking we were going to die at any moment!! Luckily we got to the nearest Target in one piece...otherwise my new vickies undies would have told you another story:)

FYI..lots of good sales on Christmas stuff at the Andrews Square Target..I think Chris was wishing we would have hit a gas station first :)

It's about that time...

Well it's right about that time when us Breuder's begin our Christmas shopping. It usually starts with a LIST. Well, I should correct myself. It usually starts with a SCROLL. So that's when hubby and I set a budget for how much we are going to spend that year.

Has anyone tried to set a budget for Christmas shopping? I don't know what it is..the holiday music in the stores, the perfume greeters (aren't they annoying?) The Big fat Santa that sits in the middle of the mall,or the smell of Christmas cookies from Williams Sonoma (who can resist going in that store?) There's always just one more person, or one more thing that I have to buy ..oh and should I mention one more cup of dunkin donuts hot chocolate that sends us flying way over budget.

So this year I am determined to NOT get way out of control and create craziness in my hubby's head :)

I WILL stick to a budget............

Well, unless they turn the Christmas music up louder, I actually DO like the scent that the perfume greeter sprays all over me, Santa is right next to one of my favorite stores, or..well, seriously who CAN resist Williams Sonoma? Everyone has to leave with something from that store right?

Well.... You know what they say.... "baby steps" I'll start with having only ONE cup of Hot Chocolate this year!!

...or two:)

Disney should name a roller coaster after us.......

Caylah bear was all smiles today! As soon as I walked in the door and said hello she lit up like a Christmas tree. We had a ton of fun giving her big kisses and tickling her cheeks to make her smile!!

Once again she has trucked through another bought of pneumonia. The epinephrine has been her saving grace. They have been able to wean it off today and her O2 is down to 80% with sats in the high 80's low 90's she has been doing okay without the epinephrine so far, but like I said in my prior email, I'm scared to see her off of it because it was the only thing that was keeping her alive at that time. Let's hope she is able to stay strong!!

As far as the Genetic issues- Chris and I will be speaking with a genetics counselor soon and he/she will be able to answer some more questions we have for them. The docs did inform us that hubby and I should do a genetic workup(to see if we are carriers of any genetic mutations) so that we will be more well informed with future pregnancies. I was already tested for CF before Caylah was born and those results were neg, but the docs at Childrens want to re-do the test just in case.

So, Caylah has had a good week and a half so far. All we can do is keep on praying for our little sweet pea and cherish every moment that we have with her.

Decisions..decisions..

Black or white, hot or cold, new or used...all pretty easy questions to answer right?

Well not this on!! Bar soap or loofa and body wash???? Call me crazy but you would think that would be the least of my issues!! So as I was standing in the shower the other morning, I ran out of my Olay Body wash..you know, the whole procrastination thing that's just struck me up against the head these past few months. Anyhow, as I started to madly shake the darn container I managed to squeeze out the most itty bitty bit out of the the bottle..it was like Christmas morning I was so excited..so sad.

As most of you ladies and possibly? men know, a little body wash is supposed to go a long way..well not today..I barely got an arm done when the oh so crazy loofa sucked up all my soap!
Okay..bar soap..this wouldn't happen! There's an obvious gauge in size when you have bar soap even when your running low, there's always that teeny tiny piece that somehow just lasts forever. So what's a girl to do? The body wash is obviously more moisture infused, there's more of a variety to choose from, exfoliation! exfoliation! exfoliation!, you don't have to worry about the loofa flying wildly out of you hand if you drop it, and you just feel more girly using a loofa. So you would think this would be such a simple question to answer.....

I stood in the store for what seemed like centuries debating on which one I should get. I watched two other women head straight for the body wash.... Just like that...so simple, but here I was STILL standing there. Mind you, hubby was right next to me (making typical hubby comments) trying to help me make a decision.

So...finally (which felt like slow motion..you know...the whole will ferrell thing when he gets jammed in the neck with a dart in old school) I started to reach for the body wash..but as I was doing that, another women scooted right in and chose bar soap..so THAT threw me all off. By this time hubby was pissed..he reach down to a ENORMOUSLY LARGE value pack of Lever 2000, threw it in the carriage..looked at me like I was NUTS, and headed to the meat department.

So..until the next time(which won't be until 2025)we run out of soap, that will be one less decision I'll have to make in my crazy crazy life :)

God I'm complicated.

Conspiracy Theory...

So this is for all you ladies out there...Have you ever been so psyched to have two mirrors in your bathroom?..One of them angled so perfectly that you can see the back of your hair while styling it!! I was thrilled when I realized I didn't have to hold up another mirror while trying to juggle a brush and blow dryer....until this morning. In that once beloved second mirror of mine, I noticed that I now have MOM toosh! Yup, the kind that starts at the waist and stops at your ankles..when the heck did that happen??!!

It's a conspiracy..I'm pretty convinced that Jordache(remember that brand) and Hostess have a plan! Mom Jeans here I come.

Deck the halls...

Man am I gettin' old!

Hubby left for NH this afternoon to do some paperwork for his residency. So I thought how nice it would be if I decorated the tree as a surprise for when he got home. So let's back up a smidge....

I was so excited when we got our tree yesterday. We have always been the type to pretty much go all out on the holidays. You know, the whole Griswold Christmas tree thing..So we trucked merrily home with our 9 ft tree. It just barely fit(with a few adjustments to the top of the tree that was bent backward onto our ceiling) but it is beautious.

So to continue my "I'm getting old" story... so we have no stools..we have no ladders..we have no chairs..well, aside from our couches- but really, what kind of nut would move her couches over to the tree to reach the top?(sadly, I thought about it) so I decided that I would cleverly jump up to the top of the tree to place the first set of lights (not thinking that I would ram into it like an idiot and leave half the pine needles scattered about the floor.) I managed to get the first string of lights adjusted okay..but how the heck was I supposed to get it around the back without getting completely sucked into this monsterous thing?

A wet sock and 30 gazillion pine needles later, I finally managed to get the lights on myself. By this time I was exhausted! So here lay 4 boxes of ornaments.......on the floor. Hence the very FAR away picture of our tree :) Well, so much for surprising hubby with a fully decorated tree... Tis the season.

Beautious...





Found this gorgeous photo of a Plumeria (Hawaii State Flower) Ahhhh..... I miss Hawaii.

Bittersweet...

As Hubby and I were headed out the door last night to see the Nutcracker, I reached into my purse to put my phone on vibrate, and I realized that it had still been on that setting since the night before..and their was a message. It was a message that I would have never expected to get in a million years!!

Macaylah had so many tests done (to see if her lung issues were genetic) before coming to Boston. All of the doctors were not surprised when all of them came back negative. They, as well as us knew that her lung issues were a result of prematurity and multiple infections in the hospital.

I listened to my message..."urgent message. This is Dr. Hudak from Tripler Army Medical Center and I need to discuss some important test results regarding your daughter" Well if that didn't put a whole boat load of "what if's" in my head. Hubby called back right away.

What I understand the most about their conversation was "at least we have an explanation"

There was a test result that was still pending that we were not aware of. It was a genetic mutation test (not positive on the name..we are still waiting for the fax) I will try to explain it best I can. Macaylah tested positive for a gene mutation. She had a normal variant as well, but when that certain gene mutation and that specific normal variant are combined (which is what she has) it can act like Cystic Fibrosis. We were stunned. All along we thought that it was just her prematurity..we were a little puzzled at times to see other 24 weekers do well and eventually go home, when poor little Caylah bear was still struggling. We now have a concrete reason as to why our little girl is so sick.

This is all so Bittersweet for us. Knowing why she has had such a hard time recovering from infection these past 9 mth is such a relief, But knowing that the outcome and treatments are exactly the same is devestating. I am not 100% sure that NOTHING more can be done for her. We are going to present this info to the docs at CHB today, and see if their is anything else we can do for her. But hubby being a doc himself does not think their is any other medicine or treatment that will "cure" her.

Genetics are VERY foreign to me..I will be doing some more research on this specific gene mutation, and I will keep everyone updated as best I can.

A Thanksgiving to remember...

It was a couple of days ago when we got the dreaded call from CHB ICU telling us that we should come into the hospital right away because Macaylah was not doing well. My heart sank. I knew she was not doing well from her last bought of pneumonia, but I never expected to go through what we did that evening.

My husband and I walk into her room to find her struggling for breath. Her O2 sats were lower than we had seen in weeks. Another tube was placed in her nose because she was collecting so much air in her belly. Her blood pressure was plummeting by the second..I was panic stricken. I didn't care how sick she was all I wanted to do was hold her. The nurses were wonderful, and with all the wires and machines in tow, I held her into the wee hours of the morning.

Everything was in such a fog that night..I do remember one of the doctors coming in and saying something to me that made me feel as though all hope has been lost for our little Caylah bear. He told me in a kind and gentle manner that "it's okay to let her rest now" I didn't know how to react. all that I could say over and over again was "I don't know what to do." "I don't know what to do" He respectfully said "you don't have to do anything" He saw it in my face..I still wanted to fight for my little girl. She was then put on an epinephrine drip to support her heart.

Macaylah has made some improvements with the epinephrine but the doctors say that she cannot be on it forever and it is only a temporary measure to help her survive. She is slowly being weaned off the epinephrine..I'm scared. That night was the first night I realized that our little girl was tired.

A few days later was Thanksgiving..what a wonderful day we had. She gave us a beautiful smile that day. I was Thankful to have another beautiful moment with her.

Today we had the most gorgeous and intimate photo session with our little love. She was so wide eyed and interactive. I cried through almost the whole session. The photographer we had was so wonderful..she cried with us and she laughed with us. It was an amazing moment with our daughter.

Macaylah was photographed by an company called NILMDTS (Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep) It is a non-profit volunteer organization that gives families of critically ill children the opportunity to capture the most precious moments in their lives together. Please take the time to look at this website. "nowilaymedowntosleep.org" It is a beautiful and amazing organization that utilize their expertise in such a selfless manner. If you know of anyone who is a photographer and would like to donate their time to this organization, please be so kind to let them know about this wonderful program. I am so thankful that Children's Hospital gave us the opportunity to have this done for our little Macaylah. We will cherish these memories forever.

So I did some Christmas decor shopping today, and I found these beautious reindeer that I thought would look good in our Bathrooms... Jaws being the NOSY character he is, decided to gander into the bathroom and check out the new decorations. He must have sat there for at least an half an hour staring at the darn reindeer...I think he found his long lost mother :)

The hardest days....

Hubby and I hugged little Caylah Bear so hard today. She is not getting better from this bought of pneumonia. She is weaker than she has ever been. She has not interacted with us this whole week- due to the paralytics she is being given to help keep her saturation levels up. I am so scared.

We had another meeting today with her team of doctors..the tone was different. We brought Macaylah to one of the best children's hospitals in the country in hopes of finding some answer, or a remedy to her lung issues. When I heard from one of their top pediatric lung practitioners that there is nothing more that they can do for our little girl...I died inside.

The meeting was greuling...question after question about what we want for little Caylah....unsolicited opinions on what we SHOULD do or what we SHOULDN'T. Being told that there are no right or wrong answers to any of their questions..but feeling like every time I feel like I'm making the right decision, they make me feel like it's wrong.

We are going to spend the day again with our little Caylah bear tomorrow..the docs are going to wake her up from her paralytic..all I wish for is another precious smile and for her to know that her mom and dad are so proud of her.

God please let our cable get here soon.....

Our days are packed....visiting our Caylah bear, having meetings with doctors, running errands and going to the gym..(which I'm regretting right now since I can barely walk up a flight of stairs) But it's the evenings..oh I'd say around 9pm- when all I want to do is watch some seedy reality show that has no educational value just crappy sink yourself into someone else's problems tv show....but due to the lack of cable at this moment, I get to hear the "nails on the chalkboard" sound of the startup of the dreaded XBOX! Why do boys/men have such a crazy addiction with this darn thing? Why can't they have such a love for folding laundry, doing the dishes or making beds? A question that Sarah, Elizabeth, and Lauren may also have...right ladies :) I think reruns of Sex in the City are in order during Monday night football :)

Getting settled..

We are finally settling into our new place. Thank goodness for GPS! Hubby and I trying to find our way around without one would be disastrous!! I know, I lived here basically my whole life and I still get lost... I have to admit I've even done some last minute turn arounds (while using the GPS) because I wasn't paying attention to it :) Looks like I'm asking for brain games for Christmas..at this rate I'll be senile by the time I'm 35!

We are still waiting for our household goods to arrive from Hawaii..it has been quite the nostalgic adventure.... feels like freshman year in college..why did I choose Freshman year? Because I think we've both gained 15lbs from what else...eating like a college student!! (as I sit here eating my lucky charms from a plastic drinking cup :)
I know, there is no excuse to eating horrible just because you don't have all your household goods..but is sure is a wonderful excuse! I think I see a package of Devil Dogs coming my way!

Well I'm about to head out to see my little Caylah bear. I'm hoping that we have a good day today. She has still been quite sick with pneumonia for about a week now. She has had to go back on some of her drip medications to help keep her calm. She is such a trooper! I think I'm going to get her another stuffed animal today.. she just about has every animal know to man in her bed....I TOLD her I was going to buy her Noah's Ark

Fat guy in a little coat...

So after hearing the awful news about Caylah bear's pneumonia we needed a good laugh...

My hubby finally caved in today and let me buy Jaws his FIRST winter coat! He will never admit it, but hubby helped pick it out too! I was excited to purchase and bring it home for him. As I was starting to dress him I was slowly realizing that it was WAY to small for him..so what did I do? What any girl would do with an amazing pair of shoes that are two sizes to small..I squeezed him in it. We were laughing uncontrollably! The best description for this sight for sore eyes....

Heely shocking Baghda's dog from Something About Mary.....I had never seen a living dog look so rigamortis!

So sorry Jaws-but everyone has to have a good laugh at the expense of humiliating their pet :)

Our little Caylah had a wonderful 3 week stretch! Just a couple of days ago she started to require more oxygen and higher pressures....Her trach culture came back today with a bacteria called Klebsiella pneumoniae. Which means she has pneumonia. This is not the first time she has had pneumonia. She had it a few other times during her course at Tripler. She is VERY susceptible to infections of these kind- due to all the plastic hardware she has in her body. The devices are a breeding ground for all types of bacteria. Unfortunately there is nothing that the docs can do to prevent her from getting it, because all of the plastic hardware that she has in her body is necessary to keep her alive. She is being treated with antibiotics. We hope that she will be able to truck through this infection like she has done in the past-but she is QUITE sick again. We know you can do it Caylah pie! Love you.

The old gang!!

It was so wonderful to see all of you these past couple of weeks!! We are truly blessed to have all of you in our lives!! We are looking forward to many more get togethers!!

Macaylah's first Halloween

No tricks only treats!! She has been doing so well! The docs have been able to wean some of her medications, O2 and Nitric Oxide! She has handled it wonderfully!

BEANTOWN!!

Here we are!! Back in the hustle and bustle of big city living! I kid you not when I say I never heard a honk of a car horn while living in Hawaii..it must have been a respect thing... Here in Boston..I almost pooped my pants when I mistakenly became a member of the stop on green club, and the car behind me laid on his horn for what must have been at least a minute :) I also think we quite possibly have given a quarter of our retirement to the homeless guy that sits by the traffic light at the end of Mass. ave. (which in retrospect probably isn't much :) )

I shouldn't be complaining. Our little peanut is getting the best care in the world. I should be ever so thankful for how blessed we are to have this opportunity for Macaylah! She is doing amazing this week too!! As most of you know she had a rough weekend last weekend..but once again she came out swinging and proved to us that she is quite the fighter! You go Mactaculous!!

Thankful

Well, I'm sitting here thinking about how surreal our life has been this past year...

Having the chance of a lifetime to live in the most beautiful State in the country...

Watching my husband succeed and persevere in one of the most demanding careers...

Meeting friends who laughed with us through the good times and cried with us through the bad...

Celebrating our first two years of marriage....

Becoming pregnant...

The Birth of our beautiful daughter Macaylah...

Being a mom...

Watching my husband become a wonderful father...

My tears of joy...

My tears of sadness...


I hold these memories close.

I dream that someday I will share these memories with the love of my life....

Macaylah


Our journey continues....to make dreams come true.

Saying Goodbye's

So I've been reluctantly saying my goodbye's to all my wonderful friends I've made in Hawaii....you know the drill..the terrible sinking feeling in your tummy, the sighs of sadness and the OH SO NOTORIOUS thinking that fluttering and waving your hands in front of your eyes is somehow going to miraculously stop you from crying!

I'm looking forward to a great girls weekend full of Pedicures, Chocolate, Cosmos and seedy reruns of Sex and the City....and let's not forget, LOTS of gossip!

The military is a small world..oh did I mention we're a military family..I might have forgotten in the midst of all the chaotic hula hoops we've been involved in, but yes we are a military family and it is definitely a small small world out there, and I know for sure we'll end up together again..Just as long as it's not Fort Polk..right Elizabeth? :) So on a more positive note...It's not goodbye..it's goodbye for now! Loves!

Crazy days

As you may have noticed my posts may jump around a bit..I haven't had the time to continue my journal about the beginning months of Macaylah's stay at the NICU...We have been so unbelievably busy lately. We are moving to Boston because our little angel needs a lung transplant.

Today was crazy...We finished packing!! So proud of our efficiency..even though we had 6 bags of luggage :) We were told that we could have unlimited luggage. I was a kid in a candy store when I heard that...My shoes, my purses, my clothes..were all coming with me!!! Ummm yeah...as I put my last piece of luggage in the ever so neat pile, my phone rings -"Hello Mrs Breuder I was just wanting to give you an update on the flight"..yada yada yada..equipment, yada yada.. space, yada yada.. lots of medical staff, yada yada yada... 1 piece of luggage per person....yada....WHAT!!!!

So what did Tammy do for the next 3 hrs? Cry while she ever so grudgingly took every purse every shoe and what seemed like every piece of clothing she owned and put them back in her closet. I might as well go naked!

All of you that know me well know that 1 pair of brown shoes and 1 pair of black shoes just doesn't cut it!! I think my hubby was sobbing just a little bit too...I think he realized that I would have to buy lots and lots of goodies when we get to Boston :) Bear in mind our household goods will not arrive for well over a couple of months after we get to our destination..Newbury street here I come!

The days are long but the weeks fly by...

As I was walking down the hospital hallway today with my husband, I became quite sad in realizing that I never started a journal about our life with our precious little girl Macaylah. I can't even express how upset I felt when realizing how important it is to record such wonderful memories that may otherwise get lost in the shuffle if you do not write them down. And so I begin today with saying..I'm thankful I remembered to remember :)


Our Journey Begins....

I remember the first time I saw her..her tiny fingers..her tiny toes...She was snuggled up in her blanket in her isolette. She looked like a pea in a pod. I so then nicknamed her "sweet pea"..one of the many terms of endearment she will be given :)

I remember the first time I fed her. She was given her food through a tube because her belly was too small to digest her food very well, and she had not developed the "suck swallow" coordination yet. As I held her milk in a syrings that was connected to a tube that went in her mouth to her tummy I remember wondering if she knew that it was her mommy that was feeding her that day. I know now...she knew.

I remember changing her diaper for the first time. I was so scared that I was going to hurt her becuase she was so small. The nurses slapped that fear so fast from my mental rolodex that I was a pro at it within a couple of days!! I owe so much of my confidence in being a mom to Macaylah to many of the nurses in the NICU!!

I remember her first pacifier..no bigger that the tip of my pinky finger...I cried the first time I saw her use it.

I remember her first diaper..about as big as a band aid!

Macaylah was doing well for the first couple of weeks of life. The doctors were amazed at her progress. It was shortly after her PDA ligation that she caught pneumonia which damaged her fragile little lungs. Macaylah was intubated for the surgery and was never able to be weaned of the mechanical ventilator due to the horrible infection she got.

I remember that day....The doctor told us that she had pneumonia and septicemia. He told us that babies as tiny as Macaylah have about a 50% chance of survival. I cried the hardest I have ever cried that day...so did the doctor. I held Macaylah that day.... I held her so close to my heart thinking and praying that she could hear how sad my heart was and that she would know that I was hear to help her fight through this infection. Macaylah turned the corner and fought through the infection like a trooper...til this day I always hold her close to my heart.....

Bearing the unbearable

Being pregnant....beautiful!!

Being pregnant and sick for 17 weeks.....Blah!!

Being pregnant and in and out of the hospital with complications from week 19-24.....Blah X 100

As you might have noticed week 18 is missing from my oh so negative blurbs...well that was the most and ONLY week during my pregnancy that I was in pure bliss!! I felt great! We just found out we were having a girl ,and I was on top of the world!!. We were also home visiting family and it was Christmas! It was the best Christmas gift I have ever been given..well don't tell my hubby that-I'll never get a Coach purse again :)

It started a few days after we came home from the holidays... week 19...Bleeding. It was ONE of the scariest moment in MY life. And I highlight ONE because there will be MANY more to follow. That night I went into the hospital and everything looked normal on the ultrasound. Our little girl was perfect. We were told that sometimes bleeding happens and there is no reason for it. Of course that was unsettling to me but I trusted my doctor. A couple of days later I got another scare..went back into the hosptial and the ultrasound looked great..Our little girl was perfect. I went home. A couple of days later...well ,I think your catchin' the trend. This went on up until week 22. I was finally admitted to the hospital after the docs saw an abruption with my placenta....but once again our little girl was still perfect.

I was in the hospital for about 2 1/2 weeks....it was around 5pm on the evening of Feb 9th when I was craving Wendy's Chili and asked my hubby to run and get me some..ohh... and he was such a great hubby to me..he spent almost every night by my side playing games, giving me baths, holding my hand with every darn pre-term labor contraction, holding my hair while I was soooo sick from the Magnesium Sulfate I was given to stop contractions....and loving me even though I looked horrendous :) So back to the Chili.. as I was devouring the most wonderful chili in the world I started to get my usual contractions I got at around 6pm...but THESE felt different...so different I couldn't even finish my yummy chili! The next thing you know my hands were turning a pasty white from gripping the side rails so hard.....this was it...I was going into TRUE labor. I was 24 weeks and 5 days. With all the knowledge of the major risks we could face, I was filled with fear.

It was 8:57pm..I heard the wonderful cry of our little Macaylah Layne. She was 1lb 9oz. I gave her a kiss and she was rushed off to the Neonatal Intensive care Unit.

The most glorious thing I remember about that night....that the ultrasounds were always right..she was perfect.

Later that evening I climbed into a wheelchair to take what was going to be the most inspirational Journey I will ever emabark on....The journey of being a mom to my little girl.

Remembering

I remember the day I found out I was pregnant. It was early September. I was perusing through Ben Franklin Crafts (getting ideas for an upcoming Halloween party) and I felt this odd sensation in my tummy-sort of a stretching feeling. I felt a bit off that day as well..so OBVIOUSLY that gave me a reason to run into Longs drug store and buy a test. And all you women out there who are chronic testers - you know how absolutely vital it is to test with each and every twinge!!

I rushed into the house.......you know......keys still left in the door..your leftovers from lunch thrown on the counter, and your soda dripping with condensation tossed onto your very expensive sofa table...without a coaster.

Here I was- The anticipation was killing me!! (Us type A individuals can't wait for anything.) "Come on purple line, come on purple line" And there it was... the ever so beautiful SECOND purple line..and what did I do to ruin the most magnificent moment of my life?...I look into the mirror and yelled.."HOLY SHIT" ....yup that's right- such a sacred time in my life, and to all that is holy I acknowledge "SHIT??!!"

I remember not being able to wait to tell the world..you know the whole type A thing getting in the way again :) The worst thing about having to wait 8 hrs for my hubby to come home?? ...having to wait 2 more hours after that, because hubby got a late admission!!

Amidst my giddiness and skipping around the house saying I'm pregnant about a gazillion times, I managed to run to Sports authority and buy My husband a baby sized football. I had this ever so clever plan to hand him this DISTINCTLY pink and blue gift bag with the football wrapped in DISTINCTLY pink and blue tissue paper and have him open it and say "OH MY GOD!!! YOUR PREGNANT" but no....this is how it really went....I handed him the bag and tell him that I got him something special because he works so hard. He begins to open it with such an excited face...as he's ripping open the tissue he look at it...looks at me....looks at it again and says...OH...UH...thanks honey...why is it so small? I love him :) Needless to say once I finally told him...you know what he said (with a huge smile on his face) "NO SHIT!!"

We are made for each other :)

This was one of the happiest moments in my life. Basking in the wonderment of all that is to come....ahhhh...ALL that is to come....ALL that is to come....