Bearing the unbearable

Being pregnant....beautiful!!

Being pregnant and sick for 17 weeks.....Blah!!

Being pregnant and in and out of the hospital with complications from week 19-24.....Blah X 100

As you might have noticed week 18 is missing from my oh so negative blurbs...well that was the most and ONLY week during my pregnancy that I was in pure bliss!! I felt great! We just found out we were having a girl ,and I was on top of the world!!. We were also home visiting family and it was Christmas! It was the best Christmas gift I have ever been given..well don't tell my hubby that-I'll never get a Coach purse again :)

It started a few days after we came home from the holidays... week 19...Bleeding. It was ONE of the scariest moment in MY life. And I highlight ONE because there will be MANY more to follow. That night I went into the hospital and everything looked normal on the ultrasound. Our little girl was perfect. We were told that sometimes bleeding happens and there is no reason for it. Of course that was unsettling to me but I trusted my doctor. A couple of days later I got another scare..went back into the hosptial and the ultrasound looked great..Our little girl was perfect. I went home. A couple of days later...well ,I think your catchin' the trend. This went on up until week 22. I was finally admitted to the hospital after the docs saw an abruption with my placenta....but once again our little girl was still perfect.

I was in the hospital for about 2 1/2 weeks....it was around 5pm on the evening of Feb 9th when I was craving Wendy's Chili and asked my hubby to run and get me some..ohh... and he was such a great hubby to me..he spent almost every night by my side playing games, giving me baths, holding my hand with every darn pre-term labor contraction, holding my hair while I was soooo sick from the Magnesium Sulfate I was given to stop contractions....and loving me even though I looked horrendous :) So back to the Chili.. as I was devouring the most wonderful chili in the world I started to get my usual contractions I got at around 6pm...but THESE felt different...so different I couldn't even finish my yummy chili! The next thing you know my hands were turning a pasty white from gripping the side rails so hard.....this was it...I was going into TRUE labor. I was 24 weeks and 5 days. With all the knowledge of the major risks we could face, I was filled with fear.

It was 8:57pm..I heard the wonderful cry of our little Macaylah Layne. She was 1lb 9oz. I gave her a kiss and she was rushed off to the Neonatal Intensive care Unit.

The most glorious thing I remember about that night....that the ultrasounds were always right..she was perfect.

Later that evening I climbed into a wheelchair to take what was going to be the most inspirational Journey I will ever emabark on....The journey of being a mom to my little girl.